miley cyrus’ fans have started calling her “the tongue queen” on twitter and every time i see those words i imagine a huge powerful lizard overlord
unnecessary sex scenes in movies
unnecessary sex scenes in tv shows
unnecessary sex scenes in fanfic
do u ever love a celebrity so much it makes you sad
So my cat is sleeping between my legs and then this happened and I laughed so hard he woke up.
that’s a potato
Your cat looks like an uncooked chicken
This guy sent me a dick pic so I google searched and sent back a bigger dick pic. This was the response.
when one of your best friends is sad but they won’t talk to you about it
"the weather seems ruff today doesnt it Spot haha?"
"dont patronize me Greg"
comment from a person on youtube whose name i don’t remember.
this is how you make “gay jokes” folks
having two parents of any gender would suck because when u need one of them you’d be like “mom” and the wrong one will reply and you have to go “not you the OTHER one” and thats why if i marry a girl and we have kids she can be mom and i will be optimus prime
when ur parents call u for dinner and u see they made your fav